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Ex-Mormon News, Stories And Recovery
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Cognitive dissonance is a state of opposition between cognitions. For the purpose of cognitive consistency theory, cognitions are defined as being an attitude, emotion, belief or value, or even a mixture of these. In brief, the theory of cognitive dissonance holds that contradicting cognitions serve as a driving force that compels the human mind to acquire or invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to minimize the amount of dissonance (conflict) between cognitions.
This article appeared in my local paper today. Before I even read the article the thought passed through my mind, "I bet this guy is LDS."
Fred's journey (no pun intended) with Disasociative fugue began eight years ago. I'm sure the problems started years before that.
Even his own parents doubt his condition:"We didn't know what was going on," Fred's mother, Carol Knerr, said. "His brothers still have mixed feelings about this. They're not sure. As for my husband and myself, yeah we believe it, but we don't. If there is something wrong with him, we need to find out what it is."
Some say that the condition masks a serious trauma the person has suffered - sexual abuse, an attack, war, and so on. I wonder if that would include the psychological abuse one suffers when they are made to believe that they are not doing enough for the Mormon God and the people you want most in the world to protect you, your parents, tell you in so many ways that you're just not doing enough, not faithful enough, don't study the "scriptures" enough, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO PLEASE GOD.
The rigid mental acrobatics one must go through as a TBM are enough to drive one to suicide let alone a mental illness.
I thought I was fairly normal while growing up Mormon - I believed, I prayed, I obeyed not out of love for God, but out of fear that this God would punish me. I had stresses too. Husband left when I became pregnant. Raised my child by myself with a low-paying job but the Bishop told me I would be blessed if I payed tithing. Is that the ONLY thing they know how to say? I struggled for years paying, praying and obeying, all the while believing church leaders telling me in Gen Conference, Stake Conference, Ward Conference, Sac Meetings, SS,RS and all the endless meetings that I just wasn't doing enough to please the Mormon God. I wanted to die - literally. What more could this young single mom working a full-time job do? A lot more according to LDS, Inc. One thing I noticed was that money was always at the root of it.
Fred seems to have a lot of stuff that he's probably too afraid to uncover. Mormons do like to keep up appearances and perhaps Fred has been "encouraged" by his family not to give up too many details lest they and the Mormon church look bad.
| As you all may know I spilled my guts to the RS president last week. I expressed my feelings about JS and my reluctance to accept the BoM as true history etc..... She gave me a couple of "official" church publications on sunday and she even sat with me during sacrament meeting (I was alone). She's suggested that I not read anything that does not have the stamp of approval of the church. Basically, just put my blinders on and march forward like everyone else. I can't do that.
Another conversation.....a church member called to ask if my son could come over and play (I thought this was a wierd thing for a TBM to do on a sunday). This family has been expressing their concern (not verbally) for a few months. She finally just came out and asked me what was going on with us. So we get into this conversation about church and the restoration. I mentioned something about JS and polyandry and she said "oh yes, but these women were widows". I had to pull the wool from her eyes on that one. As we discussed JS and some of the things that were not "official church history" on the subject she makes this comment: "well you wouldn't want everyone to know all about your past (I've been divorced and she knows this) Oh no she didn't just say that! it's on now. I said: #1 I am not claiming to be a prophet of God, #2 I'm not asking you to give up all of your possessions and follow me and build a temple for me, #3 I'm not asking for your husband, #4 I'm not asking for 10% of your gross income and for you to spend time away from your family for me. she didn't say much after that.
We got to discussing books we'd bought from "Deseret Book". She said that she'd given her DH a book of JS letters. I believe this is the book that has photo copies of actual letters he wrote and maybe journal entries etc.... anyway my point is that JS wrote the stuff. She said that they ended up throwing it out because they "didn't have a good feeling about it". Some of the things he talked about bothered them. What???? Do they not see this as a problem?? They have thier blinders on and I don't think they are ever coming off.
I've learned that I really should just keep this stuff to myself and not share it with TBM people.
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